Judgement and Acceptance

Virginia Beach Fishing Pier sunrise

Judgment was made to be a weapon used against the truth. It separates what it is being used against, and sets it off as if it were a thing apart. And then it makes of it what you would have it be. It judges what it cannot understand, because it cannot see totality and therefore judges falsely. Let us not use it today, but make a gift of it to Him Who has a different use for it. He will relieve us of the agony of all the judgments we have made against ourselves, and re-establish peace of mind by giving us God’s Judgment of His Son. ACIM Lesson 311

The other day, I found myself skipping forward in my ACIM reading, and i stopped at Lesson 311. Having read this lesson for a few days in a row now, I have been consciously aware of when I am in judgment…when I see or hear other people in judgment… and when I am judging other people for their judgments! It’s insane!

I’ve been thinking about the reasons why we judge people so often, and I believe we judge others when we are envious of them in some way because they have something that we don’t. It can be a position or status at work, the car we want, the girl we want, or the praise from our boss. The list goes on and on… We also judge when our expectations or wants aren’t met. We have thoughts like, “How could they do that?” or “Why is he getting special treatment.” It becomes a habit to complain and find fault in other people.

I believe that our ego is the root cause of judging. First, our ego compares the self with others, often putting others down to boost ourselves up.
Then it starts to compete, trying to prove that it is better. “I would have never done it that way”, etc. Then, it isn’t long until the harsh criticism shows up, “He is so awful…”

Once we’ve gotten to this point, we ultimately leave no room for peace in our mind or love in our heart. There is no space for forgiveness or happiness.

When my mind is spinning with judgment of what someone else has said or done, I don’t like how it feels. I don’t like that someone else is occupying my thoughts and that it brings negative feelings to my day. When this happens, I know I am not in a place where I want to be.

So then, what’s the solution to being judgmental?
I say it’s acceptance.

When we shift our thoughts from judging to accepting, with both ourselves and others, we can then get committed to creating what we say we want.

I came across a quote the other day by George Orwell (while watching Criminal Minds). It states that “happiness can exist only in acceptance.”

In order to move through the judgement when I catch myself slipping
into it, I focus on accepting the person or the situation for what it is.
(Now, this doesn’t mean that I have to agree with them or it – I just have
to accept what is!)

It also supports me to remember that given what is happening in the moment, that person is giving they’re 100 percent in that moment, and it couldn’t happen any other way.

To judge someone for one moment in time, without regard for the “bigger picture” I believe, lacks compassion.

If you ask anyone, no one will say that they like to be judged. Everyone wants to feel free from being judged, but very few people are free from judging. We want to be accepted unconditionally, but we rarely accept others unconditionally.

So the bigger question here is, why?

I am going to assert that we let our limiting conversations and thoughts run us to the point where we don’t fully accept ourselves. Our constant judgment of ourselves leads the way to do the same to others. I believe it’s yet one more way our ego distracts us to from doing the work we need to do to have our visions, goals, and dreams become reality.

– Kris Delgado

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