Gratitude as a Distinction.

book

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of Gratitude is a state of being grateful: a feeling of appreciation or thanks.

We, at Gratitude Training, love the quote by Cicero that reads: “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”

We assert that Gratitude is a choice or perspective we choose that brings value to anything. One of the Principles of Leadership we live by is “I am grateful for everything.” We believe that leaders choose Gratitude as it opens up possibilities in all relationships including, romantic, family, friendship, and business.  These possibilities may not be there otherwise.

Gratitude is not only a feeling of appreciation or thanks, it is a context in which we choose to play. I believe I always notice when I am accessing Gratitude, as opposed to ambivalence or judgment, simply by the energy I generate and create.

I say that it is impossible to be frustrated, envious or resentful AND to be grateful at the same time.

– Kris Delgado

 

‘BEING’ Open

 

 

open window

Open, as defined, is allowing access, passage, or a view through an empty space; it is not closed or blocked up.  We use “open” as a transformational distinction and define it in a very similar way.

For example, being open to doing the training, or to staffing, means the possibility that you will get more out of
the training or staffing. By extension, it is likely you will create more value for yourself. 
Being open is a choice we consciously choose.

When we are open and completely available, this allows for a different listening.  An example: If I am talking to a friend and that person is standing, arms crossed, looking away or looking at their phone, and they say that they are listening to me, my experience is that I would not really have their attention.

Another example: If I am explaining something and you don’t agree with what I am saying, if I ask you to let me explain my point of view, and then you agree to hear me out, that would allow a space in your listening to hear something that you may not have thought of before. After hearing me out, you may still disagree with me, but you were open to hearing something different.

We ask everyone to be open, even if you have circumstances that you can’t see from where you are standing right now. Being open doesn’t necessarily change that, but it changes the context you are.

This sets an importance context for the training and that is why we request it of people.

 

Judgement and Acceptance

Virginia Beach Fishing Pier sunrise

Judgment was made to be a weapon used against the truth. It separates what it is being used against, and sets it off as if it were a thing apart. And then it makes of it what you would have it be. It judges what it cannot understand, because it cannot see totality and therefore judges falsely. Let us not use it today, but make a gift of it to Him Who has a different use for it. He will relieve us of the agony of all the judgments we have made against ourselves, and re-establish peace of mind by giving us God’s Judgment of His Son. ACIM Lesson 311

The other day, I found myself skipping forward in my ACIM reading, and i stopped at Lesson 311. Having read this lesson for a few days in a row now, I have been consciously aware of when I am in judgment…when I see or hear other people in judgment… and when I am judging other people for their judgments! It’s insane!

I’ve been thinking about the reasons why we judge people so often, and I believe we judge others when we are envious of them in some way because they have something that we don’t. It can be a position or status at work, the car we want, the girl we want, or the praise from our boss. The list goes on and on… We also judge when our expectations or wants aren’t met. We have thoughts like, “How could they do that?” or “Why is he getting special treatment.” It becomes a habit to complain and find fault in other people.

I believe that our ego is the root cause of judging. First, our ego compares the self with others, often putting others down to boost ourselves up.
Then it starts to compete, trying to prove that it is better. “I would have never done it that way”, etc. Then, it isn’t long until the harsh criticism shows up, “He is so awful…”

Once we’ve gotten to this point, we ultimately leave no room for peace in our mind or love in our heart. There is no space for forgiveness or happiness.

When my mind is spinning with judgment of what someone else has said or done, I don’t like how it feels. I don’t like that someone else is occupying my thoughts and that it brings negative feelings to my day. When this happens, I know I am not in a place where I want to be.

So then, what’s the solution to being judgmental?
I say it’s acceptance.

When we shift our thoughts from judging to accepting, with both ourselves and others, we can then get committed to creating what we say we want.

I came across a quote the other day by George Orwell (while watching Criminal Minds). It states that “happiness can exist only in acceptance.”

In order to move through the judgement when I catch myself slipping
into it, I focus on accepting the person or the situation for what it is.
(Now, this doesn’t mean that I have to agree with them or it – I just have
to accept what is!)

It also supports me to remember that given what is happening in the moment, that person is giving they’re 100 percent in that moment, and it couldn’t happen any other way.

To judge someone for one moment in time, without regard for the “bigger picture” I believe, lacks compassion.

If you ask anyone, no one will say that they like to be judged. Everyone wants to feel free from being judged, but very few people are free from judging. We want to be accepted unconditionally, but we rarely accept others unconditionally.

So the bigger question here is, why?

I am going to assert that we let our limiting conversations and thoughts run us to the point where we don’t fully accept ourselves. Our constant judgment of ourselves leads the way to do the same to others. I believe it’s yet one more way our ego distracts us to from doing the work we need to do to have our visions, goals, and dreams become reality.

– Kris Delgado

I keep saying YES

yes
Article written by Charlotte Bahm.

Almost every time, the Part 2 Trainer is teeing up Masterful Living, I think about what this training has meant for me. There was a time when I thought that I would grow old alone. That, now, could be farther from the truth. Not only do I have the Gratitude community for which I am forever grateful, but I also have a loving, kind, and nurturing family with three amazing girls and a wonderful wife.

How did this happen? I opened up to commitment, love, passion, and YES. I keep saying YES. When I say yes, a new door, a new adventure, a new beginning comes my way. I step into abundance every time I say YES.

Being a mom has created a new way of looking at saying yes. For toddlers, there can be a whole world of no. I get to create a world of yes for them, my family, and the world.

 

 

 

Being the author of my life…

book and kittyI believe when I am grateful for all that I have – all that has been given to me and all that I give, wholeheartedly, then I can stand in appreciation of what is around me (nature, my pets, friends and family, my colleagues). I create space for newness. A space where beautiful, loving, silly things to come into my life. Being the cause or the creator of my experience, being the author of my life…
Kris Delgado

Distinction Mondays are back!

Distinction Mondays WordPress

Starting June 27, 2016, Monday evenings will never be the same here at Gratitude!
As we are bringing back a popular FREE GRADUATE WORKSHOP series, Distinction Mondays. We will cover key distinctions from the Gratitude Trainings in these 2.5 hour sessions. This is a great opportunity to stay involved with the community, get clarity on Gratitude distinctions, set your intention for what’s next in your life, and continue to transform the world with like-minded people!
Distinction Mondays will be held every Monday from 7-9:30pm in all 3 of our cities
and are open to any Part 1 grad!

Locations:
Gratitude Training Pompano Citi Centre 1955 N Fed Hwy. • Pompano Beach, FL 33062

Gratitude Training Mooresville Center • Mooresville • 1201 Pine St • Mooresville, NC 28115

Feinberg Consulting, Inc. • 7125 Orchard Lake Rd. • West Bloomfield Township, MI 48322

SPEAK THE WORLD THAT YOU WANT: PRACTICAL ONTOLOGY AS MINDFUL LIVING

68de169d-8d04-49fd-9e87-346f24105c89

Speak the World that You Want: Practical Ontology as Mindful Living

We do what we’re committed to doing. 

But are we satisfied that we’ve participated richly enough in shaping the goals that drive our actions? Do we feel like we can own our lives and take responsibility for creating its meaning and its pulse, its feel and its resonance?

What are we committed to when we feel, say, stuck or uninspired, or victimized and incapable? 

The ontological approach asserts that our own practices and commitments drive our feelings, and as ontological coaches we aim to cultivate opportunities to bring awareness to and sincerely question these commitments. 

We might be commited to the belief that we’re not capable of living powerfully— “not attractive enough,”  “not smart enough,” “not assertive enough,” and “just not able to trust.” 

We might believe that if we “just had the right partner,” or lover or friend (or a different history)… only then could we “really” open up and savor the value of deep intimacy. 

These beliefs are not just benign thoughts— they’re practices that generate the kinds of worlds we live in and the kinds of lives we lead.

Our beliefs commit us to certain types of actions, certain types of expectations, and consequently, certain types of possibilities and opportunities. 

Mindfulness of the world-generating practices that express who we are is ontology in action.

Ontological mindfulness gives us the opportunity to cultivate powerfully inspired lives by being present to the interpretations we live out, and by inventing new possibilities for being. 

When we sincerely believe that we are worthy of respect and capable of creating inspired lives, we make a life-changing commitment that bears directly on what we’re prepared to do, and what we’re prepared to anticipate and expect from ourselves and from others. 

When we want something different, we create something different by being something different. 

This calls us to listen with razor precision to the emotional and linguistic frameworks that shape the quality and meaning of our lives. 

Doing so, we come to see how our moods, feelings, and relationships with others emerge out of a world view and a way of being that we’re mostly unaware of, and these feed into the patterns of self-talk and communication that produce our opportunities and our limitations. 

If we’re seeking a transformation of being then we have to begin by listening to how we speak the meaning of our lives into existence, because it is through the listening that transformation occurs and shifts the very paradigm from which our beliefs emerge.

Whether or not we’re trying to generate a better work/life balance, or just want to stoke our sense of inspiration, and design our life in a way that passionately matters to us—practical ontology operates at the ground level of how we actually live, and what we actually say

When we courageously and mindfully align our actions with our words and our beliefs, then we live powerfully— we live with full commitment. 

When we fully become the value driving what we want, then what we want can’t help but follow…

—May this disclose a space of rich creativity and inspiration, and may it illuminate what was always there to begin with: infinite abundance!

If this blog inspired you, please pass it on…

© 2016, Kevin Perry, Bettie J. Spruill, Ideal Coaching Global

If you want to read more from Bettie on Ontological Living, please check out her website: